Its a Control Thing

Teacher Musings
My family has so many control issues that we have a special name for it: LCF (Levey Control Factor). LCF is simply the reason why my sister, my dad or I get stressed out and frustrated when we can't control something that we crazily think we should be able to control. LCF is the reason my sister gets spitting mad whenever she is injured and can't work at full capacity (which is an issue when much of your work is physical). LCF is why my dad can throw down an f-bomb when people around him act like morons. And LCF is why I got so frustrated that my face turned red when my students wouldn't listen to me last Thursday. This was all aggravated by the fact that I had another teacher, whom I greatly respect, watching my class.
The idea of "control" in the classroom is one every teacher faces. On one hand, not having control in a classroom can have drastic consequences for you and the students - just ask anyone who has ever had a fight break out in their room. Like most things in teaching, this idea of control is not simply something you have or you don't - you might control some things and not others. Which begs the question - what are teachers expected to be able to control and what should they be able to control? On Thursday, I was attempting to get my students to have a whole class discussion about the main idea of an excerpt from "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass." I had some students listening and contributing, others who were frustrated with the process in a way that I can live with (they were frustrated that there was no "easy" answer, something I want them to grapple with), a few more who were tuned out and moving along with other work and at least one who was flat out asleep and snapped at me when I shook her arm to wake her up. In some ways I had control of the class- no one was wandering around out of their seat, or starting a fight, or trying to have a loud conversation with someone else across the room (all of which have happened to me before and I'm sure will happen again). In other ways, however, I felt the control slipping away bit by bit as the process continued. Every moment that passed I lost more students' attention, and I had that brief moment of panic wondering if I was going to get it back. We eventually moved on to another activity where they were all more engaged and I was able to circulate and help more one on one. In the midst of that circulation I had a student, in her very nicest voice, tell me that my butt was big. I have since decided to take that as a compliment and move on with my life.
At the end of that period LCF reared its ugly head. I was "amped" (as my students would say), frustrated and mostly angry at myself. Why couldn't I capture all of their attention while I was up at the board? Isn't that something I'm supposed to have control over? On reflection this begs the question - how much of another human being's behavior can we be held responsible for? Its a dangerous question in teaching, because it is always tempting to say that its the students' fault that you taught something and they didn't learn it. I not only believe the opposite, I think it is imperative that all teachers believe the opposite - we are there to get students to learn, by any means necessary. But how much should I be blamed, or blame myself, for the student who was sleeping in my class? How much should I blame myself for the side conversations? Sure, I can reflect and problem solve and try to find ways to create more systems in my class that minimize that behavior (as I have) but how much of it is actually in my control? Isn't it a bit egotistical to think that I can be responsible for and control the behavior of 25 teenagers for one hour when their lives are out of my control for the other twenty-three hours of the day? This moment was a good reminder that "controlling" my class should not always be my goal, but perhaps "managing" it and creating systems for it should be.
On this note, I read a wonderful article by David Cohen called "When Testing Fails" around this issue of control in the context of testing. Check it out at http://www.teachermagazine.org/tm/articles/2009/03/11/031109tln_cohen.h20.html?r=896584319
Basically, he points to the fallacy that a test (the way they are done now) can be a measure of a single teacher's performance. What I like his article is how he shows that we can't blame or congratulate one teacher for a students' success, but that teachers do make a difference - we are just a piece of a giant puzzle as opposed to the sole motivator for any single student.

Yummy Stuff
Its been a while since my last post, and we've been making a lot of great stuff! I have been reading "Eat to Live" by Joel Fuhrman and I'm finding it fascinating. As a result of this, I have been cutting out sugar and oil and trying to add way more beans and greens to my diet. The result has been some really yummy stuff! I made a white (navy) bean casserole from "Easy Beans" a few weeks ago, but of course it got changed and veganized. So, here is my version of it:
Gratin of White Beans with Herbs
3 1/2 cups of navy or Great Northern beans (white beans)
1 TB olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 fresh tomato chopped
1/4 cup veggie stock
1/4 cup unsweetened soy milk (with 1 TB of cornstarch added)
Topping:
3/4 cup panko bread crumbs
2 green onions finely chopped
3 TB olive oil
1 TB fresh rosemary
1 tsp dried thyme
1/4 cup parsley chopped
Directions:
1) Sautee the onion and garlic in olive oil over medium heat for 5 minutes. Add tomato and cook 10 minutes more, stirring frequently
2) Add stock, soymilk and cornstarch (already dissolved in the soymilk) and stir for 2 minutes
3) Pour the veggie mixture over the beans in a casserole dish and stir gently to mix
4) Mix topping ingredients together and sprinkle on bean mixture. Bake at 375, uncovered for 30 minutes

We also had a delicious black bean and greens soup from "More Easy Beans" that I also messed with a bit. Here is my version of that:
Black-Eyed Bean Soup
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans of black-eyed peas
28 oz can of diced tomatoes
4 cups veggie stock
2 TB of "Chili 3000" powder from Penzay (or 1 TB + 1 tsp chili powder and 1 tsp oregano, 1tsp cumin seasoning)
1 1/2 tsp each oregano and basil
3 bay leaves
1 bunch kale, roughly chopped
Directions:
1) Sautee onions, garlic, celery and pepper for 5-7 minutes
2) Mix in all the other ingredients, mixing in spices well
3) Bring to a low boil, then turn down and simmer for 35 minutes, or until kale is tender
Easy and delicious!!

Finally (because we've been making some great stuff!!) here is the Eggplant Cacciatore recipe from Vegan Italiano - I've made it twice, and its amazing!!! Of course this is tweaked a bit, as usual. Gary's not a fan of eggplant and so he didn't really like it as much - just a warning to the eggplant haters out there!
Eggplant Cacciatore
1 large eggplant peeled and cubed (you can salt it if you want - I usually don't bother)
1 large onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
3 large cloves of garlic, minced
About 4 1/2 cups spaghetti sauce (I use my own that I make in large batches and freeze. You could easily use store bought!)
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp dried basil
12 oz pasta (the book says linguine, I used whole wheat rotini last time and really liked it! We are also going to put leftovers over polenta tonight!)
Directions
1) Heat about 2 TB of water over medium heat (you can use oil you want - I've been trying to cut down on it). Sautee the onion and bell peppers for about 3-5 minutes. Add garlic and cook, stirring constantly, for 1 minute
2) Add the sauce, herbs, and salt and pepper to taste.
3) Bring to a brisk simmer. Reduce heat and simmer gently, partially covered for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally
4) While the sauce is simmering, heat 1 TB of olive oil (or water - see earlier note) over medium high heat in a large sauce pan. Cook the eggplant for about 5 minutes, until it begins to brown. Add it to to the sauce mixture and then simmer gently for another 10 minutes or until the eggplant is tender. Server hot over pasta of your choice!

"You doin' too much!"

Teacher Musings:
"You doin' too much" was something my students in Oakland used to say constantly. Out here in Boston its "You forcin' it." These statements are usually uttered when I am assigning homework, or expecting them to do some amount of reading and/or writing during class. What they essentially mean is that I am expecting them to do a lot of work. Needless to say, I take it as a compliment when they tell me this - it means I'm pushing them to do and think more (or at least I hope so). But lately I've been feeling like telling my own colleagues and supervisors that they are forcin' it. I have been feeling entirely overwhelmed with the pressures of the MCAS, English exhibitions (a type of presentation done by students in all of their content areas), professional development opportunities and mandates and expectations that I manage all of this and continue to teach and have my students learn the same way at the same rate as when I didn't have all of these responsibilities. Its overwhelming to say the least.
Recently I have also been reading numerous studies that compare how teachers in America teach significantly more hours and have significantly less planning and collaboration time in comparison to their European and Asian colleagues. I also attended a roll-out of my district's latest collaborative professional development endevour. This latest roll-out is actually a way of leading inquiry groups that I personally prefer to how they are done at my school now, and that also have show stronger results. Yet when I was talking to my assistant headmaster about how these would look in our school, we got to the point where we were talking about what else had to go. Because, frankly, in my opinion, at my school we are doin' too much. We have at least three different types of meetings that we use our Friday whole-school PD time for. We also have a leadership team, a governing board and department time build into our day. Yet almost every single one of these meetings is doing something different. What is frustrating to me as I really think about it, is that every group is made up of dedicated people and every meeting has some value to it. Its not that we are doing useful things at my school, but we are trying to do far too many of them. More and more is being published about the benefits of "deep" rigor where learners focus long and hard on understanding and applying one important core idea. And I think that we, as teachers need to be allowed to do the same with our learning. You could pick almost any one of the many initiatives in our school, say we as a staff are just going to focus on that, and I could guarantee some successful and noticeable outcomes. But when we try and do it all we do none of it well. Just as I have to pick a few main objectives that I want my students to meet by the end of the year, shouldn't teacher development also have a few measurable outcomes for teacher learning every year? And just as I have to constantly re-focus both my students and myself back to our "Big Goal" I know I would learn more if I know what my own "Big Goal" was.

Yummy Stuff:
This last week, after getting back from vacation, our eating schedule got back to normal a bit. We had red curry one night, which is super easy and quick to make and is one of my favorite weeknight meals!
Red Thai Curry (makes enough for two, plus leftovers for lunch! Feel free to substitute your own favorite veggies!)
1/4 cup red curry paste (in the ethnic section of most grocery stores. Make sure its vegan by checking for shrimp paste!)
Two cans coconut milk
1 bell pepper, chopped
1 head of cauliflower, chopped
1 block of tofu (12-16 oz) frozen, thawed, (this helps soak up the flavor) and chopped in to small blocks
1. saute 2 T of curry paste over medium heat
2. Pour in coconut milk. Be sure to shake cans to mix it up first - it tends to separate
3. Stir in the rest of the curry paste well
4. Pour in the veggies and tofu. Stir to coat.
5. Turn down to simmer and cover with a pan. Simmer for 25-30 minutes or until the veggies are as tender as you like. Check and stir every 10 minutes or so.

I love to have this with brown rice, so I usually start the rice before I chop the veggies and tofu. Its quick, easy, and yummy for lunch the next day!

It is wicked awesome when it works

Teacher Musings:
Its February break time and I'm south for the winter. Visiting my parents is always enjoyable because the live somewhere so different from Boston (and its so much warmer!!). It is also nice to be somewhere else with a different routine because it allows me to step back and reflect on my life and work. This is an especially opportune time for me because its the point of the year where all the work I've done so far starts to work - or not. I had a rough couple of weeks these past weeks with issues at work not related to my classroom. The stress of MCAS and massive changes at my school started to really take its toll. But what saved me is what always saved me - my students. In this case I experienced something that I have never really experienced before, even though I have been teaching for five years. I have been trying all sorts of different things with my students this year in terms of analytical writing. I have backed off of writing-graphic-organizers except for students who really need them, and I have spent way, way more time getting students to ask and answer their own analytical questions. I spent a week pushing them to read, re-read and really question the various meanings of various poems, even when they told me "I loved poetry before, but now you've killed it!" (true quote). I was a rewarded slightly when several students, in their weekly reflection, shared the fact that they felt they were learning how to really read poetry "deeply" for themselves. Yet the real reward was when they turned in their first 1-2 page poem analysis in first draft form. I had tried so many different things with this assignment. I had new ways to teach how to read a poem. I had a new way of running writer's workshop. I had a new way of conferencing with students. And the result of these in some form was some of the strongest independent analytical writing I have every done. Students who worked on their papers when they were supposed to and did all the assignments leading up to it (which of course wasn't everyone) really analyzed the poem they read with their own thoughts. Even students who struggled to wrote two of the body paragraphs and got a lot of help from me were able to synthesize their ideas about the authors' message and the time period the author lived in in interesting and insightful ways. What I loved about this, and what I saw for the first time in my teaching is that my incredibly smart and interesting students were able to translate their smart and interesting thoughts into their writing!! They weren't just filling in the blanks in a graphic organizer, they were really thinking!! Sure, not all their sentences were perfect grammatically, but when I read the essays I saw ideas develop and change and evolve. This is no small feat, as any writer knows. And when I saw my students do this, it was amazing, exciting and uplifting in ways that words can't capture. And it was why I struggle to find better ways of of doing things and fight through the cacophony of student voices that complain about thinking too hard - because it is wicked awesome when it works!

Yummy Stuff
So, again, it was a crazy week, so I didn't do much cooking. Thank goodness for Gary!! On Sunday we decided to make a huge pot of jambalaya to last as lunches during the week. However, we have been on the hunt for a good vegan sausage and it has been a struggle. So, last weekend, we made our own! So, we used the recipe from everydaydish for vegan italian sausage. It came out great!

Develop me!

Teacher musings:
I've been meaning to write this post for a week and a half now. It was prompted by a comment by one of my colleagues in reference to a professional development day at my school. We were discussing the usefulness of the presentations in our department and she said "I feel like I've been developed professionally!" I laughed, but I got what she was saying. I also felt that, for once, I had been part of a professional development opportunity where I really learned something of value about how to help my students learn.

Now, I have always been of the opinion that if I could find five minutes of value in a 90 minute PD presentation it was a win. I don't hold a lot of faith in people who tell me how to do my job, but who have never been a teacher. I am slightly more tolerant of people who have been teachers, but I still get tired of being preached to. But what I love most of all is time to talk and plan with other teachers. As a literacy coach this factored into much of what I did - my goal was less about making people do things my way and more about getting teachers together and giving them time to share ideas, insights, etc. Now I know not all teacher talk is productive. More than once I have worked in groups that were supposed to be developing instructional strategies but were derailed because of someone who was stuck repeating over and over "these kids can't learn" (what I now consider the most obnoxious phrase in the English language). However, I have been in way more bad professional development trainings than bad teacher groups. What I loved most about the work we did during this whole school professional development day was that facilitators presented us with some new materials, texts and ideas, and then let us work, discuss, plan, joke, enjoy and ultimately produce new tools for our classroom. That has always been the way I learn - through processing ideas with others, and integrating new ideas and knowledge into my own schema.

One of the things I do gain from any professional development, painful or productive, is a better understanding of how my students feel. It took me sitting through a two hour lecture last week in grad school to remember why my students are noisy and antsy after an hour of me talking at them, even when I think my words and writing prompts are engaging. The same holds with professional development. If working out ideas in groups, and jotting down notes and ideas works for me, it probably works for some of my students, even if I need to teach them what having a productive discussion looks like. Its a good reminder all around.

Now, I could end this post on the happy note from the last paragraph. But I have one more thing to say. It should be obvious now that I value and learn from groups of teachers working together towards a common goal of developing new instructional ideas. In most of the schools I have worked there has been little time for this happen. Either it doesn't exist at all, or the time is there but is very closely directed so that free teacher conversations aren't allowed to thrive. And this is what I think really is at the root of so much failed professional development. If you can't trust teachers to be productive adults on their own, how on earth can you expect that they can even be professionally developed, or even teach, in the first place? To me, this lack of trust has been at the root of all district and school sanctioned PD I have encountered. Even teacher groups often must have agendas approved by the administration. I don't know what crazy stuff these folks think is going to happen without their direction, but every informal teacher group I have been in has been far more productive and far more intellectually engaging to me than all PD combined. And I think that, until our educational system learns to trust its teachers, they will never be able to develop anyone or anything that can teach students.

Yummy Stuff:
So, I did not do much cooking this week. Thank goodness for my husband, because it would have been a week of canned soup otherwise, since I didn't get home before 7pm any night of the week. However, on Tuesday I have grad school classes until 9:30 at night. Last semester I often stopped at a nearby spot for a bagel with tofutti on my way to class, but that got expensive and fattening really quickly. My new goal is to make my own easy-to-carry dinner and bring it with me. Last week I sauteed some leftover portabello mushrooms and then put them on a bagel with hummus. This week I tried to make a protein rich blend that was easy to throw together and would get me through the night. It came out great!
Quinoa and Lentil salad
1/2 cup quinoa
1/2 cup green lentils
1/2 cup chickpeas
2 TB lemon juice
1 avocado

1) Boil 2 1/2 cups of water.
2) Pour in quinoa and lentils. Bring the water back up to a boil, and then turn it to simmer and put the lid on. Let it simmer for 20 minutes or until all the water is absorbed. (I was able to take a shower and get dressed during this step!)
3) Mix in the chickpeas and lemon juice.
4) just before you eat it, slice up the avocado and put it on top!

Really easy, really boring sounding, but perfect at 7:00 when you are learning about cognitive psychology!

What are we teaching them?

Teacher musings:
So all school year I've felt a conflict between content and skills like never before. Am I teaching my students to read, write and think, or am I teaching them to analyze literature? Of course I hope to do both, but the reality is something has to be a priority. By next Monday we will have finished two novels, that, honestly, only about 60% of my students have actually read all the way through. We have read 6 short stories and 2 non-fiction articles. My students are doing an amazing job asking deep, thoughtful questions about patriarchy, power, sexuality, etc. as we finish The Color Purple, and the fact that we read a summary of the book before reading the actual book really helped take the pressure of "what happened" so that we could talk about "what it means." But what am I teaching them? Yeah, they will have an understanding of cultural icons like Atticus Finch and Celie, but will they be able to research the root causes of the Israli/Palestine conflict? Yeah, they are learning to think more critically and to do stronger close readings of novels, but how will that help them wade through Obama's 14 page economic stimulus plan? Yeah, they are writing thoughtful essays about character development, but how will that help them express their frustration with lack of services they have in a letter to their state representatives?
Which brings me to the wake-up call I had this week. This content/skills debate has been raging in the English teaching world for a long time and it is not going anywhere anytime soon. It is something I discuss on and off with my colleagues as we all try to work towards including the best of both worlds. I know which side I fall on and which side my current school falls on, and they are not the same. So, I have been doing it my school's way this year to get some traction, try some new things, and to make sure I keep my job. But this week I heard about the BART shooting in Oakland (where I used to teach) and I started to cry. Because that could have been one of my kids. It could have been one of my kids who got shot. It could have been on of my kids who lost a father. It could have been one of my kids arrested while protesting. It could be one of my kids who gets harassed, beaten or killed by a cop acting out of frustration in the next few weeks. It might be useful for my kids to use literature to make meaning from their lives, but is it what they need, right this second? Or does literacy take on a whole new meaning when its a tool for survival, that lets you speak out when you need to, use language to make your voice heard, or that gets you in a position of power that gives you a change to fix this mess of world we live in? Which is why I could care less if my kids remember Atticus Finch's name so long as they remember how to use words to make a difference. I'm not saying that teaching my kids stronger literacy skills would prevent a situation like that from happening. But maybe we need to worry less about preparing kids for intellectual dinner conversations and more for the real problems they will face.

Yummy Stuff:
I almost didn't want to include a food mention in this post, but sometimes its nice to end on a lighter note. Cooking is often act of meditation for me. The chopping, checking the recipe, thinking about spice ratios, etc. has a calming effect, and I find that I sometimes can think more clearly and get beyond my anger and frustration when prepping for dinner. With that said, last night we had Broccoli Sesame Stir-fry from Vegan Planet - my go-to cook book when we get busy. In addition to broccoli and red bell peppers we put in some delicious bok choy to get our greens for the day. Speaking of greens, I have a new favorite way to cook kale, also from Vegan Planet. I rough chop the kale, wash it well, and then stick it in a large saucepan with the water still on in. I turn up the pan to medium heat and cover it and let it cook for about 10 minutes. I do this instead of boiling because it supposedly keeps more of the nutrients in, but who knows. Then, I mix together 1T of balsamic vinegar, 2T of tamari soy sauce and a couple dashes of cayenne pepper. I pour all of that in with the kale and continue to cook it, uncovered, for about 7 more minutes, untill most of the sauce is gone. The kale will be really wilted by this point, which might make it seem unappetizing to some, but is really, really yummy! Then I top it with a ton of pine nuts!! Pair that with some pasta or some soup and bread and you've got what Gary and I call a Levey-Pabst dinner.

Teacher musings:
Yesterday was the first day back from break. Its always a tough day for all parties considered. I was excited to go back and the kids weren't too wacko. I enjoyed seeing them and had fun catching up with them. It was a little hard to get some of them to get to work, and it was a bit of a struggle to remind them where we had left off, but overall it wasn't too bad. But at the same time, I felt myself struggling for a sense of urgency. We completed the vocabulary lesson (something that usually takes twenty minutes) and when I looked up, forty minutes had gone by - yikes!! It was a reminder that it was time for me to step up my game a bit. I was easily sidetracked yesterday by student comments and irrelevant (yet interesting) questions. Just a reminder that I have to get my head back in the game too!

Yummy stuff:
I am totally in love with roasting. Give me a veggie - any veggie you want and this month, I roast it. For dinner Sunday we had roasted butternut squash (mixed with evoo, salt and pepper - roast at 425 for 40 minutes) and roasted brussell sprouts (mixed with evoo, salt and pepper - roast for 20 minutes) with waffles. It was a great way to do "breakfast for dinner." Today I am at my sister's house helping her recover from surgery. She had some quinoa and a few veggies in fridge. I found half a head of cauliflower and - you guessed it - roasted it!! I cut it up and covered it with evoo, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes and roasted it for 20 minutes and then put it on top of quinoa. It was a great post-hospital meal, and it was exciting to make it as spicy as I like since I didn't have to share with Gary. Not bad for a vegan on the go!

Teaching is a Job

This is probably the first and last time I'll write two posts in two days, but as any teacher knows, when you have the time, use it! Today I was pondering what is worth missing a day of teaching for. My sister in D.C. is having surgery (routine, but still surgery) on Tuesday, and I am going to fly down for the day to help out, take her to the hospital, etc. To me its a no-brainer - my family needs me, I'm there. No questions asked. Of course, with my family, nothing is simple. We have to figure out which family members to tell about my sister's surgery and in what order. Will my mom fly out from Arizona? Will I take a cab from the airport or take the metro - and who will pay for it? Its all so complicated for no reason at all. What surprises me though, is my reaction to missing a day of school. It will be the second day back from the two week break that was already too long because of snow days. It is the day of the week that I see my students the most because of my school's wacky schedule. It was the day we were supposed to finish the novel, and so I will need to do some serious lesson plan adjusting. And yet, when I told my sister it was no big deal to miss a day of work, I meant it.

Having all of this going on reminded me of Gary's second lung collapse, during my first year of teaching. Then I had to take a day off to stay home with him since he couldn't really do anything for himself. That time I was seriously stressed about missing work even considering the context. I think I honestly believed that if I was gone for a day and left lame sub-plans (the students were left with busy work that only three of them actually did) then my students' learning would be seriously damaged. Now I look back and can't believe my arrogance. Yes, I am the teacher, and the students learn more when I am there (at least I hope so!) But having someone else cover for a day does not hurt them and it certainly isn't the end of the world. One of the main benefits to getting laid off last year, from a job that I worked insanely hard at, was the realization that, when push comes to shove, teaching is a job. It might feel like a calling or identity sometimes, but when my family or friends need me, the job takes a backseat. So, my students will be using a handout to aid in their understanding of the end of The Color Purple on Tuesday, but we'll get back to the discussion, deeper analysis and writing on Wednesday. And maybe putting family first isn't a bad thing for my students to see.

Yummy Stuff
Last night we splurged and ordered Indian food (Gary was not happy about it, but I really, really wanted samosas and I haven't figured out how to make them well myself). However, rather than pay ten bucks for chana masala, I made a quick version of my own to go with our appetizer plate. I sauteed a chopped up onion with 2 T of garam masala, some chili powder and coriander. Then I dumped in a cup and a half of chickpeas and a 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes and 4 T of tomato paste. Then I just let it simmer until the delivery showed up - about 20 minutes. It wasn't bad for a randomly tossed together dish, and it tasted great with samosas!
Tonight, in the interest of getting back to being healthy we are making Southern New Year's Day Soup from Vegetarian Times with black-eyed peas, collard greens and veggies galore! I think I'll make some whole-wheat bread in the bread machine to go with it. That should counteract the greasy-goodness from last night.